is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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