69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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