You're a womanizer and a bitch.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
