Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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