New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
