You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
