when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
