can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
