her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
