I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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