He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
