you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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