maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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