She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
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