thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
