yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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