mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
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