You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
