I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize