I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
