Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
