His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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