addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
