found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
