she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
