Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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