I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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