we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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