it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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