There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
another moral hangover. fuck.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
