Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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