Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
