Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
