You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
