You work out of a Hotel?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
