trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Randomize
