Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
