And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
