Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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