It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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