Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
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