Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
