ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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