just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
