Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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