if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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