I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
