So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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