so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
