Already got asked if we're dating
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
