Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
